Following the report about Frito-Lay's Flat Earth snacks I noted here, the Onion covers the 'angry launch.'
With the recent trend of wholesome snack foods reaching "truly
ridiculous proportions," Frito-Lay announced Monday that it would,
against its better judgment, roll out a new line of healthy
fruit-and-vegetable-based chips next February...
In January, Frito-Lay will launch a Flat Earth marketing campaign based on the slogan, "Bet You Can't Eat Even One." Surprisingly, however, the company is also in talks with distributors to ensure that Flat Earth snacks are installed in every school vending machine in the country.
"Oh, they're definitely going in the vending machines," Carey said. "Everyone's going to share in this misery, not just a handful of Naderites with spastic colons or loser kids with no taste buds whose parents want them to grow up to be boring milquetoasts afraid to have any fun. And don't think we haven't forgotten you either, office workers on snack breaks and anyone who wants to serve a big bowl of disappointment at a cocktail party."
I figured they were trying to save those vending machines for something!
Thanx to Katya for the tip!
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